Ramblings about Intervention...

Watching several episodes, back to back, of "Intervention" tonight. Sometimes, I feel such a powerful message when I watch these shows. Other times, not so much. And generally, the message I hear has more to do with my personal connection to the subject matter. I am rambling, let me explain...

The first one I saw tonight was a mother in her early 50s who had been addicted to crack for thirty years. Her kids had suffered greatly, and they were very angry. The only man in the whole thing was the addicts 17 year old son....which I relate to as a single mother from a family of strong women. The addict's mother was a real jewel who was from the old school where you respect your elders and you take care of your responsibilities and you love your and support your family no matter what. She spoke like an old school preacher, with a cadence and rhythm in every word she spoke. She was wise in many ways, but her loyalty as a mother caused her to be quite an enabler. This mother was amazing, though. The power came with all three generations together, and the picture of motherhood. The mother of the addict, loyal and supportive to the point it was harmful, and three angry children who felt like they never had a mother as their mother abandoned them again and again in so many ways...the grandmother was the mother to these kids. During the pre-intervention, the grandmother realized how bad these kids were being hurt by their mother's addiction (that she was enabling), and suddenly it all made sense to the wise, old woman. Addiction, raking over the lives of three generations...taking mothers and daughters alike. Such a powerful idea of motherhood, with these two polar opposites, fighting for the same lives...one who never stops mothering even though her daughter is an addict, and the other who has never started mothering even though she has three grown kids. I see these kids hurting from their mother's addiction, and it makes me thankful that I walked that road way before my son was ever conceived. I know how easy it can be to fall in that whirlwinding downfall without even realizing it...and I am so thankful to be fully aware of where this road will lead. Every damn time. At least that is how it is for me. Believe me, I tried. I tried to beat the odds. Many times. I thought I could do it, time and time again...just use recreationally...and it just cannot be done, by me, anyway. Yeah, at first, I always thought I could do it, after all...I knew all the tricks. But, eventually the weeks waned to days which waned to hours and pretty soon I had a fucking habit again. I know I can never put my son through that. I cannot put myself through that again...just too much at stake.