Thursday, January 20, 2011

Powerful Celebrity Rehab

Just watched an incredibly powerful "Celebrity Rehab." I have to say, i am not even sure who the celebrity was. She looked like a model...tall and pretty. I just caught the end of the episode, and I do not know if it was new, or a rerun. But, tears streamed down my face.

Dr. Drew was with this tall, pretty patient in new York City. When I tuned in, they were standing at Ground Zero, and she talked about losing her fiance on 9/11. She said she felt like no one can understand what that feels like, and then a man interrupts and talks to her because he lost his wife and niece that day. This man was married to his wife for 40 something years (47 maybe?). He talked about that morning, and I was so touched. Dr. Drew was so touched, and this patient in treatment was also touched. He said exactly what she needed to hear, just by sharing his experience with her. (That is one thing that is powerful about this blogging community, as well.) Then, she went down towards The boathouse, (maybe at Central Park?) where the addict's fiance, whom she lost on 9/11, proposed to her. She had a letter she had written him shortly after he died, that she intended to leave in his coffin, but she just could not. She looked for a place to "let it go." As the walked by a river in this park, she sees a copper plaque on the ground that reads, "For Andy (that was her fiance's name) whom I loved...." I cannot remember the exact wording. She tells Dr. Drew that she now realizes that maybe he was only supposed to be with her for that short time, and that everything happens for a reason. (Hence...higher power things here, recovery realizations here...) She goes alone to the banks of this river, and reads the letter she has not even been able to read since she wrote it ten years ago. She rolls it up, and puts it in a bottle, releasing it to the water. Powerful.

And it really strikes home with me because of Katrina. All the people that we lost during the storm, all the people we lost during 9/11...all the families of all those people, and I wonder how many of the survivors struggle with addiction. It is a way to cope. These massive, horrible tragedies are etched forever in our minds...even in the minds of people who really have no personal connection to the places, or events, people whose only connection to these events is the fact they are American...and it happened her...the events of the Hurricane, and the events of 9/11, and the events of Columbine,the Arizona tragedy, Virginia Tech, the earthquake in Haiti, the tsunami in the Far East...I could go on and on...all those people have family, and all this takes a toll. I know it took a toll on me for quite some time. I think about substance abuse because of trauma. It happens. A lot. I cannot really claim that because I was an addict before the tragedies I experienced in Katrina...but, I am no longer an addict, and that has much to do with Katrina. Events like these are so powerful.


  1. Great post thank you :D
    Could you write a little more on how Katrina has also helped you move on from your addiction please?

    I recently found a doc online called SCARED SACRED. It's about finding the sacred in tradgedy, and not running scared from it.

    Google the title plus ''movies found online''....or is it ''documentaries found online?'' Well, one or the other anyhow. Hope you enjoy :D
    Spiritual Pilot

  2. P.S Books and more films to help your recovery:

    1) I also have found the work of ECKHART TOLLE to be of great help in making friends with my mind.

    Many Eckhart clips on Youtube inc. his own channel too. Bit Torrent has some of his work if you are into that....

    2) The trilogy called CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD by ND WALSCH. Before you reject it, due to it's title, please
    know that, as a gay man, who had experienced a fair bit of queer bashing from organised relgion, I almost threw it in the bin. But having nothing else to read, and being stuck in the middle of nowhere I gave it a go. Best move ever!
    It has no queer bashing, sexism, hellfire and brimstone, nor ''my way or the highway''. An amazingly loving, freeing book that begins with an angry letter to God, that could be from any one of us. What do I have to do to make my life work? Why does it have to be so hard? Does it have to be this way? Why is it this way? etc.
    Whatever your relgious background and current beleifs, I think there is something in this book for everyone. It's not trying to sell you religion or God either. So pls give it a go. If only by googling some quotes.

    There are a few CWG and ND WALSCH clips on youtube, tho most are imho -not- v.good examples. Best CWG stuff is text quotes found through google.
    And audio and text via Bit Torrent.

    Film version of the book, (same title) not bad, but imho doesn't do justice to the book.

    3) Last but not least, THE WAY OF THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR by DAN MILLMAN.
    Book version is best. The film is pretty good. Dan has written several other books too, tho I have not yet got around to them.

    Pls comment below if you found any of them helpful in recovery or have your own suggestions. Thank you :D

  3. @Spiritual Pilot...I have written a book, that tells the story of Katrina, and how the tragedy changed my life. Interesting thing I noticed...all my friends who were addicts that did not evacuate the city for Katrina are clean today, and many of them who did leave, are still using. Interesting, huh? Says something about tragedy as a means to beat addiction. This blog actually has quite a few posts about Katrina, but I could email you some more pieces about it.

    Not a big fan of Eckhart Tolle, it is just too muddy for me. It is just a little out there for me. If you read a lot of this blog, you will see that I write in a very raw style. I see the world with all its cracks and crevices, and frankly I have always been attracted to the dirt in the world. Tolle reads more like fantasy for me, and I have a hard time getting into it. Love The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, though...and I will check out the other one.

    Books that I like in regards to recovery...I really like Marianne Williamson. I found her book "Illuminata," and picked it up in early recovery, not even knowing what it was about. Something with it just struck a cord with me, maybe it is her mixed background that brought her to Christ that I relate to. I am going to say that I would not call myself "Christian." I would call myself "Spiritual", though. Another book about addiction that I found to be inspiring was Anthony Keidis's "Scartissue." The book is written by Keidis, the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It is more of the tale of the descent than the recovery, but what I like about it is Keidis has an incredible realistic opinion about addiction. I am drawn to what is real, and what is presented in a real and raw fashion. As for spiritual books...I tend to relate to things that are more Earth-based. I really like Ann Moura's (?) Green Witchcraft series. I also liked a book called "Dharma Punx," about a punk rocker that finds buddism and meditation. Mostly, I read nonfiction, true stories...maybe because that is what I like. Another great book that was incredibly inspirational to me in early recovery is actually one that is very popular today...that is "Eat, Love, Pray." I like a woman's perspective on things. I have not seen the movie, but the book was pivotal in my life. When my addiction came to a head, I was going through a divorce, as well....

    I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and although we usually do not understand it at the time...things will be revealed as time goes on. I do believe in a higher power, but I also believe very much in the natural cycle of life...the sun and the moon have more to with us than most people would care to believe. Gravitational pull, and the natural world...which I believe we, as humans, we entrusted to respect. I believe in fate and destiny, but that each move we make can alter that course. Although, I cannot say if I had to do it all over again that I would do it the same. I will admit, I am not proud of all the things I have done, and all the places my addiction has taken me...and, sure, I have some regrets. But, I would never change the person I am today, and I would not be that person without all the crap from the past. Furthermore, I am very thankful to have been given so many wonderful stories to tell...and what more could a writer really want? It is those stories that WILL make me successful...ironic, in a way...but that is how life works. I also believe in the law of threefold...EVERYTHING you do will come back to you(3 times as good or bad.) I believe that all the energy you put out there does come back to you. Sometimes it does not seem like the universe will ever right itself, but eventually...balance is always achieved. It is our natural inclination to search out balance, and when we are unbalanced...all is off kilter.

  4. Just saying hi, buddy. Very intersting to hear your viewpoint on that episode of Celebrity Rehab. I watch both it and Intervention pretty faithfully.

    Hope all is well with you.

    Love you,


  5. thinking back to the kids who got hit by cars and died when i was growing up there's one i remember clearly though didn't know well and he was like a shining light, i always thought back and thought "he was too good for this world, he showed it something, he needed nothing from it or us" and he's gone, still gone, he had two twin sisters and it was horribly sad to see them alone but they're probably still here he's still gone

    God and it's fucking sad