Saturday, July 31, 2010


I have got to write something, and for some reason I am steering away from onto description it is. As my insides are being ripped apart, calling for the dark, the prisoner cries. She demands that he fucking unchain her. I burden lifted, a weight is removed, and some of the pressure is relieved. That fucking pressure, building up over time and space. A space much further than the one he has goes much deeper than that. But, there is something more out there for me...

Begging. Scraping to get free, while the paint was peeling away, layer by layer. The paint was old and rusty, anyway...I gotta break free from all the fucking chains. Unchain me, and set me fucking free. Chained to to the closet of the bedroom door, repeatedly beating me down with words. Crumbling inside, churning and churning.

Yet, I feel sadness. I feel like a baby born again, unsure what to do. But then, I feel more like myself than I have ever felt. I think about all the things that those years had taken away, and my use was certainly not without cost...because the cost is greater than you have ever imagined before. I am in serious debt here, speaking metaphorically, of course. The struggle to get myself back, is not without cost. The cost, sometimes, is really fucking high.

Maybe I am wrong. I am not sure that I am a hundred percent right. How can we ever be sure of absolute truth? I am breaking from the inside, even though I am way to fucking cold to show it. But, I feel like i have just been pushed too far. I feel like it has just gotten too unbearable. I am broken, but I am not letting anyone break me again. There have been some things said, that just can never be taken back.

Shhhhhhh. Listen to those whispers on the wind. Listen to all those secrets, whispered by the trees and the skies. Shhhhhh...listen to all those whispers swirling round and round in my head. I feel the whispers behind me, and I feel the fucking looks boring a hole in my tiny little skull. Shhhhh...hear the whispers all around...

Interruption, and onto another thought.

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