Friday, February 26, 2010


I found a recipe for homemade Absinthe one time. It seemed relatively easy. Just add a little wormwood to some Vodka, touch it up with a few spices...and you can get really wasted. The recipe said to let it sit for seven to ten days, no more than fifteen days or it could be poisonous.
I took a bottle of Absolute Vodka that was about 1/3 full to begin this absinthe experiment. Then, I added the wormwood, which I aquired at a local Voodoo shop. Then, I spiced it up with cloves, cardamon, and other various pungent herbs. A little sugar to counteract the bitterness of the wormwood. I set the concoction in the window to start its magic.
Six nights later, Liam was spinning records while I was working. I ended up working later than planned, and I did not want to hit the club after I finally got off. So, of course, I went to The Abbey. My friend Dave wandered over after he got off his job at a nearby Italian restaurant. We sat there, drinking ourselves into oblivion.
Dave and I eventually grew tired of the bar, and headed back to my house on Port Street. I am sure we were probably looking for cocaine, but those details I do not remember. When we returned to my house, the house was jumping.
Liam and Pablo had brought most of the club back with them. The decks were blasting, as Liam and Pablo continued to spin some mad beats. Everyone in the house was on something, ecstasy being the most likely culprit. Even in my drunken state, I could see everyone's eyes as disks and saucers.
Dave and I were not only drunk, but we were quite surly. There were no drugs left unconsumed by the time we arrived. So, we headed to the kitchen to drink all the available alcohol. We finished off the rest of the beer in the fridge, which just left us hungry for more.
We could have walked several blocks to the store, but we were too drunk and too lazy. Quite annoyed with all the ecstatic ravers dancing in my two front rooms, I plopped down on the couch, defeated. That is when I spotted the bottle.
There it was! Sitting in the window just beckoning me, calling me over. What a beautiful sight! The clear liquid was now a light green tinge, and I knew the wormwood was beginning its magic. What the hell, six days instead of big deal. And Dave and I were DYING of thirst.
I had never had absinthe before, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I retrieved two rocks glasses, and poured both Dave and I a shot. Sniffing the liquid, it smelled herbal and a little spicy. It reminded me a little of cutting grass. Swigging it back, all I tasted was bitter! It tasted awful! So awful, that Dave and I did not want to drag it out. We proceeded to take two or three shots more.
The next thing I know, I am dancing around with all these people. All the lights get real hazy, and everything seems to be glowing. My body is all tingly,and my mood has gone from surly to ecstatic. I am dancing and hugging everyone. I really thought someone had slipped me some X. And that is the last thing I remember,
The next thing I know, the afternoon sun is blazing through the windows and my head is killing me. I slowly open my eyes. I am on the blue velvet couch, and Dave is on the other couch. He is stirring in his restless sleep. The house is trashed and it is obvious there was a party here. No one else is here, so I assume Liam has already left for work. The clock on the VCR says 4:12.
I am thinking I have never had such a terrible headache when Dave's head pops up. He is obviously in just as much pain and probably doesn't remember much more than me. I ask him, why do I have such an AWFUL headache? He feebly looks over at the window, while a very shaky finger points at the bottle of absinthe.
"That...that...shit," he croaks, and then drops his head as if exhausted.
Thankfully, Dave pulled a gram of dope out of his pocket a minute later. That act, too, took all his energy. There is no hangover a big, fat line of heroin won't cure. Shortly after, I got up and cleaned the house. I never did touch that bottle of absinthe again. I just let it sit there. It went through a cycle of greens before turning brown and eventually black. I am sure that by the time I threw it out, it was most certainly deadly.

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