Finally...

I really feel like things are finally falling into place for me. I found an apartment today, and I am just waiting approval. Which could be tricky, but I think I am going to get it. Got my car. I have a great job. I love the people I work for, and they really like me too. School is going wonderful. I am publishing for my school online paper. I am getting lots of great feedback on my writing. My book is coming along without a hitch, so far. My son is adjusted to daycare very well. And I am really content...I am really happy.
It is about damn time. I used to think that when people get clean, their lives automatically start falling into place. I used to think that when you started doing all the right things, everything began to fall in place. It takes time, though...more time than I had anticipated.
Over four years after getting clean, and my life is finally beginning to come together. Damn, there have been some real frustrating times over these last four and a half years. There have been times when I wanted to throw my hands up and scream, wondering is it really worth it? There have been times when I felt like I had taken enough shit, and I just could not take any more. There were times when I felt like it just wasn't fair...I was doing my part, why couldn't I just get ahead?
Four and a half years later...things are finally falling into place. And it is about damn time. It has not been an easy road, but damn it feels good now. Damn, it really is worth it. It really is worth it to start achieving some of my long lost goals. It really is worth it to be independent again. It really is worth it to be a clean and productive member of society. It feels like I have conquered the world.
Coming out of addictions and getting back on track is a long and arduous process. It takes a long time, much longer than I ever expected. Nothing really is a quick fix out there, and we have to work hard at anything that is worth it. Four and a half years later, and I am starting to see some fucking progress. And now I know...it really was worth it. I can do this. And I can do it well.