Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Poems from the Darkness...

Time passes
And things change,
Sometimes drastically,
And other times,
Only little by little.

But the hole in my heart remains
The hole in my chest
Will always remain
And sometimes, still
It eats away at my soul
Invading my life
With the the darkness
Of the past,

And sometimes, now...
The present looms
Dark and scary,
Just because it is so fucking light
So fucking normal
And so fucking lonely.

I want to scream sometimes.
And I want to warn them all...
But, nobody listens to my advice,
And maybe, in the end...
We are all left stranded
With only our addiction,
And everything we once loved
Is lost.
Maybe, that is the only way we get better.
And maybe that is what keeps others so sick.

Until we manage to pull our head out
Of the muck and mire...
Or until we die.
And I am still here,
And he is still there.
And nothing will ever change that.

Nothing will ever change all of that.
So, I guess I should listen
To that age old advice...
And surrender
The things I cannot change.
But, my heart still holds tight.
Although, I know now...
I will never see his face again.


  1. I looked for a place that I could comment on your website, but this is the only place I could find. Reading your blog, and your descriptions of what is going on with Keven...it sounds exactly like what we went through with our son. I pray your outcome is better than ours.

  2. Thanks you for your comments on my blog.

    Do not forget that you are a miracle. Clean for 4 years and running away from instead of towards temptation is a miracle.

    I know that you will find another love. Your actions show that you are ready so do not dispair over being alone. You only have to get that right once.