Thursday, June 23, 2011

I Guess Things Could Always Have Been Worse...

I just read this article, describing the robbery of a pharmacy, where the crazed man, determined to get painkillers ended up shooting everyone on site.  His wife was also arrested for her involvement.  The neighbors are all shocked, as no one suspected drug problems...and everyone just thinks this man is so nice.

And he probably is a really nice guy...most addicts are.  And I am quite sure that anyone living in the home was WELL aware of any drug problems...but, no one outside could suspect a thing.  And I think about the desperation when you are in need, the awful pain of withdrawal...and the insanity that comes along with it.

I cannot imagine robbing a pharmacy and shooting everyone...but I do know what it is like to bend every moral you have to get drugs.  I do know what it is like to cross that line.  As addicts, we all cross different lines...some are merely hurting ourselves, while others are hurting others...even taking a life.  And I think about all the blurred lines, and I realize the denotation in the sand is really the you never know where the addiction will lead...

Sad, though...this poor guy, really just starting a life with his wife...and now he is facing murder charges.  I think about those days when I was just beginning a marriage.  All those promises, and all those hopes.  I think back to the innocent days when Liam and I were in love...both with each other, and with heroin.  I think back to all those times, both good and bad.  And I think back to it all now, sometimes with bitterness, still.  But, then...I look at this story, and I realize things could have been much, much worse.  I think of this young man, waking up from the fog of intense opiate find your life forever altered, and incarcerated.


  1. Just yesterday I was at my old methadone Dr for a cyst removal ( friends now so I still go to him )there used to be 6 Dr now 1 1/2 .I could hear the receptionist answer the phone & telling everyone NO CHANCE to start up ,if you had been there before maybe in a week or 3 , I remembered the desperation I had calling but back then they could help you with in 4 hours . Less if you had been before ,my heart went out to those on the phone what could hey do ?Beg their dealer for credit (probably done that )scam another user , rob a person ,hold up a 7/11 .Sad ,at least here ,Australia Drs are free scrips $4.50 , methadone $35 a week.I hope their dole check came today for them and the community .(dole $260 a week)

  2. Being an addict is no excuse for doing things that hurt others, much less kill somone. I have been desparate many times while I was using, but never stole from anyone. I realize I was lucky to have good credit to get cash advances when needed. I'm still paying the debt back after almost 4 1/2 years clean and am disgusted when other addicts (most clean) are shocked that I would be paying it. They tell stories of scamming ATMs with play money and maxing out as many credit cards as they can. That goes beyond addiction. It is bad character. Instead of feeling sorry for the "nice" man that killed people because he wanted drugs you might want to mention the families that were killed for a 4 hour high.

  3. Anon you far more credibility than any bank CEO come to think most users have .These pill heads go down faster than any Heroin user there's just something about how they go about it .Shooting innocent just leaves me speechless.For any pill heads reading this poppy seed tea WILL get you by in a pinch .

  4. I know I am a little late in commenting but I'm just now getting caught up on what I neglected through the summer. My very bad.

    I agree that an addict's moral compass seems to become remarkably flexible the deeper and deeper the addiction, present company, regrettably, included. Although I never stole or took advantage of individuals, I did manage to rack up all sorts of institutional type debts in order to finance my addiction especially once I became incapable of supporting my habit through only my pay cheque. And like Anonymous above, as tempting as it was at times to simply walk away from what eventually became a pretty substantial bill, I didn't nor couldn't.

    I did eventually pay back every last cent owing though it certainly wasn't easy at times, but now, almost six years later, I am so glad that I did. Perhaps it is possible to correct our moral compass after all.

    peace, love and happiness...