Anxiety

Anxiety sets in
Not unlike that of before...
I pace...
Back and Forth
And
Back and Forth
And
Back and Forth,
And over again.

I am a crazy person.

Deep breaths,
It is like I am smothering
Like I cannot breathe
These thoughts running wild in my head.
These emotions running wild
Deep into my very core.

Stand up
And fight,
It is my only option

As a woman
As a mother.

I never stood up for anything
Before.
I never really stood for much
Before
As I wish washed
And wavered back and forth
Teeter totter...
Whichever way the wind blows.

But things are different now.
I have something to stand up for
Now...
And I will stand and fight
Thoughts running round and round
In my head.

Anxiety...
Racks my mind
Twitching my nerves
And tweeking my brain
Reminds me of
Those old PTSD days

The horror
I cannot
Begin to describe.
The panic
The torture
Thoughts
Ripping and riding like the waves.
Pacing
Pacing
Back and Forth
This time I will stand my ground.