Saturday, April 10, 2010


Scenes from the past
Flash in my mind
From time to time
Emerging out
Of nowhere
To send shivers
Up my spine.

A back room
In a bar
Closed down
For the night
A strange man
I have never
Seen before

What the fuck
Am I doing?
How the fuck
Did my pants
End up
On the ground?
I am so wasted
I am not sure
What is going on.
All I know
Is I am pissed.
Is this how
I seek revenge?

A darkened place
Where I cannot
See much of the interior
I never really
Bothered to look
Hands all over me
Feeling helpless
And afraid
To say a word
In desperate need
Of my fix

I will do
As need takes over
My already wasted

I see not the danger
I care not of
Of the consequences
I know not
That I could die
From any number
Of tragedies...

It is only now
Years later
And miles away
In my mind
That I am struck
With fear
Fear so strong
That it racks my brain
And quickens my heart
What the fuck
Was`I thinking?

I guess I was not
Thinking at all.

1 comment:

  1. Very powerful post. It is though I can sense your overwhelming need to get that next high at all costs, not even caring or knowing how high the costs could be. I am so very happy you are years and miles away from that, and thinking again. Thank you for this insider's point of view, I found this post to be very courageous and insightful.