A look in to my past as an addict. I am now clean, and I have also become a mother. Being a mom has put a whole new perspective on looking at my past. I am hoping to just get down these stories and thoughts...a little bit everyday. I don't care if anyone reads this or not. Instead, I view it as a format for my thoughts. A reason to write a little everyday, until my masterpiece is finished.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Person in Need
Just encountered a girl, reeking of withdrawal. I spotted her from a mile away, ambling slowly towards me...looking like so many friends of mine, looking like myself. I recognized the smell right away, as she stumbled slightly towards me, muttering something incoherent about the weather. I recognized that desperate smell of need and addiction. I recognized the face in anguish, the pain and the need. And I wonder what she is doing on a college campus...is she holding it together that well? Or is her whole world about to crumble. Smells like the need has already taken over...and the streets are calling her name. I know....because I have been there.
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hmmm, what happy memories, eh
ReplyDeleteWas it the OSU campus? If so, unfortunately, it was probably my daughter.
ReplyDeleteDid you say anything to her? Its painful to see someone who is where you've been, but look where you are now.
ReplyDelete@Barb...you know, I think I may have been staring at her because I felt like I knew her. And I looked at the greasy hair, and the tattered long sleeved shirt, and the long jeans with combat boots. I think because I stared at her, it prompted her to say something. I think she said, "It is really cold outside." And it was not cold today. It was in the 70s. And when she said that I thought about how cold I used to be in withdrawal. And I thought about all that crashing down over me, and I thought about then, and I thought about now. And I thought about how I look like a normal person now, who would not understand where she is...and then...she had walked away. I did not even have a moment to think about it, until after that fact. And then, it seemed profound, in a way.
ReplyDeleteHow sad and awful. Hope all is well with you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
SB
It's always jarring when we have one of those kind of moments. We see that reflection and get lost in the memories of who we once were. Hopefully she'll find her way off the path she's on like you did.
ReplyDeleteI ran into a situation like this when I saw a young girl my son used with. She was so skinny, so lost. I recognized "heroin" immediately. I didn't say anything either, just turned a corner so she would not see me.
ReplyDeleteI feel terrible I didn't offer to buy her something to eat. At the least I could have told her God loves her.
I totally missed an opportunity to do the right thing.